


The Meaning of Happiness

by Tanbinokami



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Danarius/Fenris (past), Fenris being insecure about his body, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Romance, Threesome - M/M/M, ear fetisch, gymnophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:22:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanbinokami/pseuds/Tanbinokami
Summary: Fenris has feelings for Hawke, but Garrett is already in a relationship with a pretty mage and the elf's anxiety also gets in the way.





	1. Desire

Fenris' back was pressed against the cold stone wall behind him as Garret's honey coloured eyes flicked from his emerald green ones down to his lips and back up. The elf gulped hard and without a thought he was now staring at the well shaped pair of lips that were just inches from his own, inviting him as they parted slightly.

„Hawke...“ he heard himself say, his voice a mere whisper. When had he started longing for this? He could not remember. But he wanted this, needed more and then those delicious warm lips captured his. Fenris sighed into the kiss, giving himself to the man in front of him, melting, leaning into the touch.

The strong, hairy arms were now the only thing keeping him upright as Fenris' knees had given in, the moment their lips had melted together in the kiss.

„Fenris. I want you.“ Hawke's deep voice rumbled against his ear as the other's hip was pressing into him, keeping him pressed against the wall. Trapped between the heat in front of him and the hard stone of the wall there was no room to escape.

A sigh escaped his lips, followed by a gasp as strong hands slowly but surely made their way down to his groin. Maker, those sinful hands!

„What about Anders...?“ Fenris whimpered, guilt rising up inside him but unable to push Hawke away.

„Tonight it's just you and me.“

Fenris wanted to protest, but his voice was cut off by the hand on his hardened cock, stroking him eagerly through the fabric.

„Ahh~!“ he whined, his body pressing against the hand as if his mind hand no say in this.

„Fenris!“ Hawke breathed into his hear with his seductive voice.

The elf bit his lips hard, still unable to will himself away, his eyes squeezed shut.

„Fenris!“ his voice repeated now louder than before. No. This wasn't Hawke's voice. This was Anders.

Panic rose in him and immediately his chest felt heavy with guilt. He pushed Hawke away from him.

The elf blinked at the bright light that was suddenly hitting his eyes as he opened them. His lyrium lines were glowing faintly as he ran his hand down his face.

A dream.

„Fenris!“ he heard Anders call again, his voice sounding impatient outside the tent.

„I'm up. Just give me a moment.“ Fenris replied, and in a matter of seconds he was out of his bed roll and had put on some clothes.

„Get ready, we'll be moving on soon.“ he heard the mage, before he seemed to walk off to deal with other matters.

Fenris hurried to put on his armour and packed up his bedroll and tent before he joined the rest of the team for a light breakfast.


	2. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris get's injured to protect Hawke

Sometimes he had to wonder if they were just a natural magnet for bandits who thought it was a smart move to attack them or if there was just a sheer unlimited host of them at the wounded cost that simply tried to rob whoever was crossing those paths. Considering Kirkwalls status as a trading centre he assumed the latter one was the case but who knew.

His lines flared in a cold blue as he rushed forward, Hawke at his side. Those foolish men should know better than to attack a well armed group.

Faster than their attackers could know what hit them, Fenris' sword had already pierced the first man right through his torso and with a side step a second one fell to his powerful slash.

The protective spells of their mage pulled at his lines and made his skin tingle, but he was used to this and knowing he was protected made him even more cocky and bold in his attacks.

The clang of metal against metal filled the air mixed with their shouts as he was duelling with a more skilled bandit, forcing him back bit by bit. Was he playing with him? Biding his time to let the protective barrier weaken?

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he noticed a sneaky, greasy looking man nearing Hawke from the back.

„Hawke!“ he tried to warn him, but Hawke didn't hear him or didn't notice what he meant or was too busy facing his own opponent.

„NO!“ Fenris cried out and rushed forward to pierce his sword through the man's side, blood covering the ground as he went limb.

A sudden cold pain was stinging in his shoulder. The magical barrier had made the blade slip a bit so it would miss his heart but it still found it's way into his flesh.

Fenris gritted his teeth and wrapped his fingers tighter around the hilt of his sword to strike the man down when the world in front of his eyes went dark. He felt a splash of warm liquid against his back, probably blood though he couldn't tell who's, before he sank to the ground and fell unconscious.

 

*****

 

Anders' hands were barely touching his skin as the magic was flowing from his fingertips to heal the wound on the elf's shoulder.

As much as he hated mages, Anders could be pretty useful in moments like this. Apparently the blade that had pierced him had been poisoned and were it not for their healer, he probably would have died from his foolish, careless actions.

Fenris turned his head slightly to watch the healing progress but halfway there he met the concentrated gaze of the mage. Focused on his work he didn't seem to notice that Fenris was watching him or he didn't care.

He noticed Anders was playing with his lower lip as he concentrated. Maybe a habit of his? Unable to look away he watched him work his lip with his teeth, every now end then his tongue darting out to wet the spot he was chewing.

His features looked so gentle, so caring and soft when he looked at him from so close up.

The truth was that he really didn't hate the man. On the contrary. He admired him for all he did. For opposing blood magic, for helping the poor selflessly, for standing up against slavers, for being a man he felt he could trust.

Would he ever have someone like him, who did care? Someone who would touch him so gently and love him just for who he was? Hawke was lucky to have him.

Only as the pain in his shoulder lessened, did he notice that he had started to mirror his habit, his own lip slightly swollen now. A faint blush rose to his cheeks and he looked away to hide his actions.

„This should be enough for now. Don't overuse your arm for a bit if you can avoid it.“ Anders said, his fingers gently brushing over the closed wound.

Fenris' heart skipped a beat at a softness of his fingers and how light the touch was. „Fine.“ he grunted, still not daring to look up again. He hoped the mage would now leave him alone, but he was still awkwardly hovering close to him.

Was he waiting for him to thank him? Pressing the matter that not all mages were bad? Giving him a speech to be more careful next time?

„Thank you for saving Hawke.“ Anders said instead, hardly audible and his voice seemed to crack a little as a fleeting smile rushed across his lips.

„Hm.“ Fenris just murmured in reply. Was that why he had cared? Because he had saved his lover? And in return he had saved his?

He watched the mage walk back to Hawke, leaving him alone his mind confused, his heart aching.


	3. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Hawke and Anders together makes Fenris broody... and drunk.

Fenris was drowning himself in what was probably his sixth or maybe seventh ale. He hated the bitter taste, but he couldn't stand watching Anders almost sitting on Hawke's lap by now as they were chatting away with Isabella and Varric who were more than eager to find out any details about their relationship they could get.

He watched the bubbles in his drink rise to the top as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He wasn't quite sure how to place that feeling that was darkening his heart lately. Was that what jealousy felt like?

But was he jealous of Hawke? Of Anders? Of their happiness together?  
He wanted to be smiled at like this. To have someone chuckle at his side. Someone to hold him close. Someone to caress his cheek gently. He wanted to hate them. Wanted to join them in their happiness. Wanted to disappear and hide from his loveless life.

He heard laughter from Hawke's friends as everyone seemed to stare at him.

„I think Broody had enough for tonight.“ Varric chuckled amused.

„I'll bring him home.“ Hawke volunteered.

„I can walk m'self“ Fenris growled getting up and nearly stumbling over his chair, catching himself as he half landed on the table.

„Come.“ Anders said with a gentle voice, holding out his hand for him to help him up.

„I said I can walk!“ Fenris protested again. Determined to prove himself he pushed himself back onto his feet, swaying slightly but taking the first step he lost his balance once again landing in Anders' arms.

The mages arms felt warm and stronger than he looked as he helped him to stand, holding him close for support. Together they took another step towards the door.

Fenris' gaze was glued to the face of his aid, a soft blush on his cheeks. He could claim those lips in a kiss right now if he wanted. He could not deny that he was longing for a kiss but would it really feel the way he imagined if it was only him who wanted the kiss. He would be no better than Danarius forcing this upon others. 

„Enough.“ Hawke's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Fenris almost felt his heart stop as if he had been reading his mind.

„At this rate he will never make it to bed before dawn.“ Hawke laughed and a second later he scooped the elf onto his arms to carry him out of the Hanged Man, Anders following them.

„Le' me down!“ Fenris protested, struggling in his arms.

„Shush!“ Hawke commanded, tightening his grip a little as they strolled on towards Hightown.

A few steps later Fenris had already forgotten that he had tried to get away and was now cuddling into the other man's chest, his arms wrapped around his neck. He would hear Hawkes heartbeat in his chest, his steady breath as they walked on.

Anders shot his lover a knowing look, a soft grin playing on his lips. „Do you prefer Garrett to me then?“ he asked.

Fenris had expected anger in his voice or maybe the kind of jealousy he would have shown if they were his words but Anders sounded caring, curious maybe.

„Hm.“ the elf grunted briefly, nuzzling Hawke a little to hide his face in the crook of his neck. What kind of answer was he expecting? In a way he loved them both and hated them both. All he wanted to enjoy was the bit of affection while he could get it.

He wanted to let his fingers run though the black beard and let his thumb caress Hawke's lip.

„Maybe he wants to come home with you?“ Anders suggested to Hawke.

Was he mocking him now?

„Maybe.“ he heard the tender lips above him reply and a kind of panic started to rise in his chest but at the same time he didn't want to let go of the warmth that surrounded him, those strong arms that made him feel safe.

„Would you like to stay for the night?“ Hawke asked as he received no answer from the elf in his arms.  
He would let him stay? Would he hold him like this a little longer?  
Fenris nodded, his throat too tight to speak.


	4. Compassion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sharing is caring ;)

Fenris was placed gently onto a large bed, the strong arms around him now letting go. Was this Hawke's bed? He could feel the mattress give in a bit as Anders sat down next to him.

„Are you okay, Fenris?“ the blonde asked an expression of concern on his face.  
Fenris stared at his lap, nodding in silence.

„Fenris.“ Anders repeated softly a hand cupping his face, his thumb caressing his cheek. „I know you're probably not in the best state for this but... I've seen how you look at Garrett...“

„And how you look at Anders.“ Hawke added from his other side.

Maybe coming here was a mistake after all. Fenris bit his lip, his eyes darting back and forth at the floor, as if he could find a solution to his situation there.

„It's fine if you want to be with us, you know.“ Hawke said calmly as he wrapped his arms around him once more, this time from his back.

„I wouldn't mind sharing.“ Anders added, inching a little closer and tilting Fenris' head to look him into the eyes.

Fenris looked at them confused and embarrassed. Sharing? Why would they share their love with him? Why would they care for an elf? But the alcohol in his blood made him care less than he maybe should have.

„Can I kiss you?“ he asked with a shaking voice, looking shyly at Anders who just smiled in response. And then those thin gentle lips closed the gap and kissed him. His heart skipped a beat at the tingling feeling in his stomach as he melted into the kiss, whilst Hawke caressed his arm encouragingly. Fenris closed his eyes, not wanting this feeling to stop as he kissed Anders, parting his lips slightly.

He shivered as Hawke's beard brushed over his neck and a moment later his lips were softly nibbling at his skin. Was this real? Or yet another dream? And then the lips on his were gone. But before he could complain about the loss, he had now Hawke kissing him tenderly. He tasted so different, kissed differently and yet felt just as good, making his heart race. This was all he had dreamed of ever since he had gained his freedom. 

„We should get some sleep and discuss this in the morning.“ Anders said with a soft smile, stroking away a tear that had gathered in the corner of Fenris' eyes. Fenris felt embarrassed and even more when the mage stood for a moment and started to undress in front of his eyes. He simply couldn't look away until Hawke touched his shoulder.

“Do you plan to sleep in this?” he asked, pointing at Fenris' clothes. “Or shall I lend you a nightgown? Or would you prefer to sleep without anything?” Hawke asked.

“N-nightgown...” Fenris stammered after thinking about the options for a moment. Once he had been handed the too large clothing he shyly looked at the other two men and inched away into the furthest corner he could find, changing with his back turned towards them.

In the meantime Hawke and Anders had gotten ready for bed as well and were cuddled into the bed, waiting for him to join them.

“Do you want to be in the middle?” Hawke asked when Fenris stood next to the bed, hesitating to join them. Fenris played with his fingers nervously, trying to decide. He would have preferred the edge but couldn't pick between Anders and Hawke and so finally agreed to the offer, climbing over Hawke to snuggle down between both of them.

He tensed slightly as he felt Hawke's hand on his waist, but soon relaxed as it simply remained there, still and unmoving.

His hands crossed in front of his chest, he had gotten hold of the fingertips of one of Anders' hands and held them rather tightly in his fist.

To feel the two of them so close to him was rather soothing and he tried to take in every moment before he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Justice

In the morning Anders had brought him a tea which helped curing his hangover almost completely as he sat in bed emptying the cup. Unlike the healer Hawke was still blissfully snoozing next to him and Fenris let his fingers run through the thick hair on his head, absent-mindedly massaging his scalp.

“Are you still happy you came with us?” Anders asked as he finally sat down again at the edge of the bed next to Fenris, taking the empty cup out of his hands and placing it on the floor.

“I think so.” Fenris replied with a shy smile. “But why...?” he asked. It all made no sense to him, unless... unless they were expecting something from him in return. “Why are you letting me... share?”

Anders hesitated, looking over at Hawke who was still asleep. “Because we like you.”

Fenris heart was racing a little faster and yet he was sure that this hadn't been the whole story. There was more to it than Anders would say.

“I like you, too.” Fenris replied, pushing away his worries and snuggled into the mage's arms, resting his head on his shoulder. Anders smelled a little sweeter than Hawke and his hands were so soft. Maybe it was from all the herbs he dealt with on a daily basis?

His fingers played with Anders', he led them to his lips, kissing his hand shyly before he nuzzled the tender skin.

“Hmm Anders~” he heard a deep voice murmur from behind him as the man was stirring. Fenris jumped, almost falling into Anders' lap as two strong hands reached for his arse, trying to pull him closer.

The mage chuckled quietly and pulled Fenris into a protective hug, out of Hawke's reach much to the sleeping man's dislike.

“You don't like sudden touches like that, do you?”

Fenris shook his head. “I'm not a toy.” he murmured into Anders' neck. “Not anymore...”

“It's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want.” the mage reassured him, gently stroking his hair.

The elf looked up at him with a thankful and somewhat apologetic smile, losing himself in his eyes once again. And Anders was just there for him. Looking at him with all the patience in the world. The man he had once hated so much for what he was and now all he wanted was being close to him.

Their lips locked softly, a quiet sigh as they kissed. Fenris pressed his body closer into him, seeking more affection and Anders gave him just that. Kissing him deeply the blonde was never pushing him for more, always waiting for Fenris to make the first step, to lead and show him what he had craved for.

“Hmmm can I join?” a voice hummed. He could almost feel Hawke's warm breath on his ear and pulled back from this kiss, not even sure for how long they had been kissing, and brought a bit of distance between himself and Anders.

“Stop startling him like that!” Anders scolded his lover and then leaned over to kiss him as well, Fenris watched them as guilt and doubt rose in him. Was it really okay for him to be here, intruding in their relationship? Maybe he should just go and leave them to it?

But again it was Anders who stopped him, his fingers gently wrapping around his wrist as if he had heard him, but he felt different somehow, making his skin tingle in a weird way.

“NO!” Fenris suddenly cried out as his lyrium flared up under the touch and he noticed that he wasn't the only one glowing. “Stay away from me, demon!”

The cracks on Anders' skin disappeared as quickly as they had shown up and both men were now looking at Fenris, who had moved to the far end of the bed.

“Justice won't harm you. I promise.” Anders said, a hint of sadness at the sudden rejection.

“He's really not that bad.” Hawke added. Fenris did not reply. An uncomfortable silence hung between them, none of them moving.

“It was him who persuaded us to let you join, you know.”

Fenris stared at the mage in disbelief.

“He said it would be unjust to keep this happiness to ourselves, just because having a third man in a relationship would be unusual. He understood that we both wanted you with us and that you were obviously longing for more as well...” Anders sighed. “I'm sorry. If you want to go, you are free to leave.”

Fenris gulped. Was this what Anders had been hiding earlier? That he had to thank a demon for this? But Hawke trusted him too. He didn't know what to reply but neither did he want to leave and toss aside this one chance for a bit of happiness, even if it wouldn't last.

Several minutes passed without a spoken word, none of them daring to move.

“Do you need some time to think?” Anders finally asked and after another pause he received a silent nod in reply.

“How about...” Hawke started, moving a little closer “we pick you up in time for dinner and if you've decided by then you don't want this, that is okay, too.” His thumb was tenderly caressing his cheek as he spoke, a warm smile on his lips

Fenris nodded again, forcing himself to a weak smile before he got up to gather his clothes.


	6. Freedom

The hours slowly passed by and still Fenris wasn't sure what to do when Hawke and Anders would show up in the evening. Would they even come? Maybe they would decide in the meantime that they were happier without him?

In the end he had decided to leave it up to them. If they would come, he would join them, if not, he would not press this any further. Just in case he had packed a little bag of clothes for the night. As nice as it had been to wear something that smelled so obviously of Hawke, it was simply way too big for him.

When the sun was beginning to set and there was still no sign of them, he sank onto his bed. Of course they wouldn't come. What a fool he had been to even hope. His finger ran over his lips in memory on the kisses they had shared, when a sudden knock at the door startled him.

“Sorry we are late.” Hawke apologised with a sheepish grin on his face. “Did you have enough time to think?”

Fenris heart skipped a beat at the sight and he nodded quickly. “I want to be with you,” he answered, shyly staring at Hawke's hand. Would he let him hold it?

“Anders is waiting at home. There are still too many templars about.” Hawke explained and then reached for the elf's slender hand, squeezing it lightly. Grabbing his prepared bag he followed Hawke.

As soon as the door of the Hawke estate had closed behind them, Fenris dropped his bag and wrapped both arms around Hawke's neck to kiss him longingly. For probably the first time in his life, he felt truly like he was at home.

****

Hawke and Fenris each had a glass of wine while Anders simply drank tea with his meal. The food was a lot better than whatever they served at the Hanged Man or what he made for himself. Fenris quite enjoyed the rustic Ferelden cuisine and the conversation during their dinner remained light. He could never get tried of Hawke's light-hearted jokes and he couldn't remember the last time he had truly laughed like that.

Would being with them always be like this? If that was what happiness felt like, he never wanted to give it up again.

Orana came in to pick up their plates once they had finished and Fenris softly reached for her hand. “Orana. Are you happy here?” he asked quietly. The elf was confused by the question and simply nodded. “Yes, Serah.”

Fenris made a rather disgusted face at the title. “Please just call me Fenris.” he insisted. “And I meant...” he started and then sighed letting go of her hand. What did he mean exactly? Would she even understand? She should understand. She was free now. A paid servant, free to choose.

She waited patiently at his side to finish his sentence.

“What do you enjoy when you are not working?” he ask curiously, changing his original questions since he wasn't sure if he would ever get an honest answer this way.

“Reading.” she replied with excitement to Fenris' surprise. “Lady Leandra insisted I'd be taught so I can help more. I am allowed access to the Hawke library!” she informed him with glittering eyes and a bright smile. Hawke only gave him a happy nod when Fenris shot him a puzzled look.

“T-thank you.” Fenris finally said, letting Orana continue with her duties, knowing her answer had been true, because he had seen the happiness in her eyes.

Together they stood and left the dining room, retreating to the study for further conversation. “Is it common for ...slaves … not to read?” Anders asked, using the word carefully.

Fenris nodded.

“Would you like to learn, too?” Hawke asked, hoping he didn't make any wrong assumptions.

“Yes.” the white haired answered, too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

Anders immediately walked off to get paper a quill and ink well.

“W-what... now?” Fenris asked. When he had come over he had imagined a lot of things that might happen but this had clearly not been on his list. But the two men wouldn't let him talk them out of this now and went to work, teaching him a few letters and how to write his own name. They had rewarded him with soft kisses and gentle touches whenever he had written something and patiently corrected any mistakes, to his surprise without any beating or shouting.

By the end of the evening Fenris was yawning tiredly, finding it hard to focus on the letters in front of him.

“I think we did enough for today.” Anders suggested, Hawke nibbling at the mage's neck. “Let's go to bed.” the black haired said, pulling Anders closer into his arms to kiss him, before they made their way to the bedroom, the two of them seemingly finding it hard now to keep their hands off one another. 

“I'll... just get my bag...” Fenris stammered, feeling a little out of place and dashed off to the entrance where his bag was now neatly placed on the bench, not on the floor where he had dropped it. Instead of returning to the bedroom however, he went to find the bathroom and got changed there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 & 7 can be regarded as one chapter if you want


	7. Lust

Fenris froze in his step as he entered the bedroom, finding the other two on the bed, dressed in nothing but their smallclothes, kissing each other passionately. Anders was sitting on Hawke's lap, legs wrapped around his waist, slowly grinding into him as their sloppy kisses continued.  
His heart was thumbing madly inside his chest. Staring at the scene in front of his eyes, he bit his lip, starting to chew on it, unable to avert his gaze.

Maybe he should just leave? But before he could so much as to turn around, Hawke had already spotted him and motioned him to step closer. Hesitantly he followed the invite until he stood right next to the bed.

Anders amused smile quickly turned into a concerned look and he stood to hug him gently around the waist. “Are you okay with this?” he asked but Fenris remained silent. Instead he leaned into the hug, his hand shyly roaming about the skinny chest in front of him and then he leaned up to kiss him longingly, clinging to him. He could feel the blond smile as their lips touched. Anders didn't feel as hairy as Hawke looked but by now he suspected he was the only one lacking such features. Maybe all humans had hair in spots he might not expect? Would they even see him as a man?

Fenris found it hard to fight against his own doubts. Anders' question still hung in his mind. Would he be okay with this? Maybe like the kisses it would be different if it were them?

Anders sat back down, pulling Fenris with him yet not being too forceful.

“You two are too cute.” Hawke mused peaking over the mage's shoulder to welcome Fenris with a kiss on his forehead. “Do you want to take this off?” he asked with a soft smirk on his lips, as his hands grabbed the hem of Fenris' night shirt, pushing it up to reveal the dark skin underneath with those beautiful white lines delicately decorating it everywhere.

Fenris trembled with a look of panic in his eyes. “No!” He had wanted to shout it and pull the clothing back down where it belonged but it was a mere whimper that had left his lips.

Surprised at the reply Hawke let go of the fabric, letting it fall back into place. Still unable to see his face he wasn't sure why Fenris had refused. Maybe he wanted to do this himself? Or possibly he preferred Anders to do it? It didn't occur to him that a pretty, young man like Fenris could possibly feel any shame about his body.

Fenris clung to the mage's body as if he was afraid of drowning if he'd let go, while the healer's soothing hand was stroking up and down his back. 

“I promised you wouldn't have to do anything you don't want and if you want to keep your shirt, then it stays on.” Anders said reassuringly. Fenris squeezed him in his arms to stop himself from shaking, noticing that without his robe he was almost as skinny as he was himself.

He felt ridiculous that he would take on 10 heavily armed men in the fight any time without a second thought, yet taking off his shirt in front of the 2 men he loved made him tremble in fear.

“How about I continue with Garrett and you join us in whatever way you enjoy?” Anders offered breathing a last kiss onto Fenris' lips, before he crawled over to his previous spot on Hawke's lap. The tall man welcomed him happily with a hungry kiss as the elf watched them. He could hardly grasp how they could care so much about him and his own wishes, not thinking that he was ridiculously childish.

With an open mouth he watched the two in front of him continue as if it were normal to be watched in such an intimate act. He could almost feel Hawke's lips on his own skin as he watched him kiss down Anders' body. The mage's hand disappeared into his dark hair, pulling lightly when Hawke's tongue started to dancing around the blond's nipple, tugging gently with his teeth at the dark flesh.

The noises that escaped Anders' throat went straight to his groin and the tempting display didn't help either. He couldn't resist the luring call of his soft moans any longer and moved closer. The mage was turned onto his back as Hawke's head moved further down making Anders twist and whimper for more. And then his sweet noises where muffled by Fenris' lips.

Filled with the need for more his tongue hungrily slipped into the blonds mouth and his hand found it's way back to his chest, continuing the work on the hardened nubs that Hawke was no longer tending to.

As Anders' moans grew louder again he was sure that he wasn't he only cause for this, but he couldn't really see what else was going on further down. Still kissing breathlessly with swollen lips he heard something that sounded like a bottle being uncorked. Was Hawke drinking in bed?

Too curious about the strange noises he broke away from Anders' delicious lips to find Hawke with a small vial of rather thick and clear liquid in one hand. From his point he couldn't quite make out where exactly his other hand was, but the mages exposed lower half and wide spread legs didn't leave too much room for speculation.

A loud moan of pleasure reminded him that he was shamelessly staring and by now had a quite good idea of what the liquid was for. “Does it not hurt?” he asked, facing Anders.

“No.” he breathed in response. “Don't stop Garrett!” he cursed looking down when the finger inside him stopped moving. “Garrett is gentle and oil ah~... helps.” he tried to explain.

“Do you enjoy this?” Fenris asked, still in disbelieve about the pleasure on the blonde's face. Danarius had never cared whether he was hurting him or not. He had always only taken what he wanted and Fenris had complied, not daring to refuse or even complain, unaware of any alternative that might have been less tormenting.

“Ah! Maker yes!”

Anders squirmed underneath him, his hand reaching for Fenris face. He looked apologeticly at him, but why? He hadn't done anything wrong. “Can I hghn~ do anything for ah~ for you?” Anders asked while his hips rolled against Hawke's hand.

“For me?” Fenris looked at him confused.

Hawke gently placed his free hand on the elf's shoulder, making sure not to startle him again. “Go on. If you want to be touched, just tell him.” he said with an encouraging smile.

Fenris wasn't sure what to say, not entirely comfortable with the idea of asking anyone to pleasure him in any way. Anders' hand remained on his face to tell him he was still there for him, but Hawke's hand soon disappear from his shoulder, grabbing the vial once more.

“Maker! Garrett please hurry. I need you!” Anders whimpered impatiently. Fenris bit his lip hard, seeing him like that his own cock throbbing, aching for the ever denied attention. He turned to watch Hawke as he slowly pushed into the moaning mage.

Anders really didn't seem to mind this. Rather the opposite and yet Fenris felt somehow sorry for him. He reached down to caress his cheek watching him whimper and groan. “Are you~ sure hnn~ you want ah~ just watch?” Anders moaned, looking up to him once more before his soft lips started to kiss his fingers.

Fenris enjoyed how vocal Anders' was in expressing his pleasure but those cursing and kissing lips were too tempting to ignore. Hesitantly he pushed his index and middle finger between the blonde's lips just like his tongue earlier. What he had not expected was for Anders to eagerly let his tongue swirl around his fingers, licking at his sensitive lines before he started to suck at them.

A quiet whimper escaped his lips and Fenris' eyes flattered shut at the sensation. Anders' seemed to enjoy this just as much as Garrett's treatment for him. The elf shivered slightly, biting his lip. He wasn't used to making any sound nor was he used to anything that he enjoyed so much. 

He forced his eyes open, the noise of flesh slapping against flesh waking memories in him he wanted desperately to forget. Seeing Anders suck happily at his glowing fingers immediately calmed him and then he turned to see Hawke who gave him an exhausted smile.

Hawke leaned over to kiss Fenris with a passion that was unknown to the elf and he happily melted into the kiss, still feeling Anders work at his fingers.

“Touch my ears.” Fenris requested weakly between kisses, only to see Hawke grin at the fact that he had finally made a request, even if it was a seemingly innocent one. Returning to their dance of lips against lips a pair of rough fingers reached for his earlobe, rubbing and twisting it gently. Another muffled moan escaped his lips, lost in their kiss.

Fenris could feel his fingers being sucked more and more eagerly, quiet sounds of pleasure filling the room and then he felt Anders tremble, his head falling back. A moment later Hawke broke their kiss to moan loudly into his ear before biting into his earlobe on the other side, licking at the sensitive skin. Fenris toes curled and his body was shaking a little. “Garrett” he whimpered hardly audible and then gulped hard as he released himself into his smalls.

“My my, who would have thought.” Hawke chuckled with a rather dirty grin once he had recomposed himself a little. Fenris cheeks blushed and then Anders sat up to pull him into his arms.

“Not what I had expected.” he commented and kissed the elf softly. “You are so cute, Fenris. Did you enjoy that?”

Fenris nodded, his face still red in embarrassment.

“If you need to, you can change into a set of my small clothes.” Anders offered “And Garrett and I will go and clean outselves in the meantime.” he added with a wink before he dragged his lover off to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not consider Fenris' behaviour as merely being shy. Gymnophobia - the fear of nudity is a real thing


	8. Worry

Anders tensed up as he heard the approaching sound of someone in full metal armour and retreated to his back room. It wouldn't offer much protection if the templars were really going to search his clinic but at least he was out of sight.

“Anders!?” a familiar female voice he couldn't quite place at the beginning called from the other side of the wall. “Anders, we need your help!” There was worry, if not even panic in the voice. Aveline?

Anders left his back room to discover he was right but would not have turned down anyone else who came asking for help.

“Fenris. He needs you.” Aveline explained briefly. “We've been fighting the carta down at the docks. Hawke should be on his way with him.”

“Lead the way!” Anders said urgently as he rushed towards the front, but there was no need to even leave, because he saw Hawke running, the white haired elf in his arms. Hawke looked like he was at the brink of exhaustion but if he'd been sprinting here carrying Fenris almost as quickly as Aveline had found him, he was not surprised. But Hawke would have to wait.

“He had about half a healing potion to stop the worst but then he fell unconscious.” Hawke panted as he placed Fenris on one of the cots. He had left the trail of blood all the way here. “Please save him, Anders.” Hawke pleaded, sinking to the ground with exhaustion.

Anders looked at the elf in shock, a gaping hole in his lower torso, right through to his back. He wasted no time and ripped the already torn fabric further to expose mote of the wound. This didn't look good. He immediately went to work to at least stop the blood loss. There had been a great deal of internal damage from what he could tell so far. His hands glowed softly green as he let his healing magic go to mend the wounded flesh and Fenris' lyrium lines responded with a faint pulse.

“Don't you dare dying on us now!” Anders cursed as for a moment the glow grew weaker and the elf’s breathing was way too shallow for his liking but the healer would not give up on him. His hands already shaking, beads of sweat falling from his forehead as he healed the damaged inner organs to the best of his abilities.

“You stay with me, you hear me!?” he shouted at the unconscious warrior and noticed that it wasn't only sweat but also tears running down his cheeks.

In the meantime Hawke had received a potion himself from one of Anders' assistants to regain his stamina. As he got up he could see that Anders could barely keep himself on his feet any more yet he kept squeezing every last bit of mana out of his body to heal Fenris. 

“Anders! Stop. You need a break.” Hawke ordered holding out a potion for him. Fenris already looked a lot better than before. “Drink this!” he said as he shoved the small bottle between Anders' lips. Of course he was still worried about Fenris but now just as worried about Anders' health if he were to continue like this.

“He will be all right if you take care of yourself, too.” Hawke said as Anders started to drink. “You finish this and I'll bring Fenris to the back, so you can at least sit when you continue.” he decided and carefully scooped the white haired back onto his arms to place him gently on Anders' private bed. He still looked drained and weak but gaping hole was now a mere red spot on his delicate skin.

“You'll be alright, my love.” Hawke whispered gently brushing his bangs off his forehead and leaned down to kiss him there.

A moment later Anders entered the room and sat down next to Fenris. Hawke was right. The worst had been prevented. What Fenris needed now was good care and a lot of liquid and rest. He stayed with him and did whatever else he magic and healing skills could do for him while Hawke went to get some elfroot tea for both of them, hoping Fenris would regain consciousness soon so he could drink.  
*****  
Fenris could smell the scent of many people, of dust and dirt. There were footsteps. Where was he? And there was elfroot, spindleweed, burned wax and... lyrium? He opened his eyes to find Anders' sleeping face next to him, lit by warm candle light.

“Thank the Maker you are awake!” he heard Hawke's voice as the other stopped pacing and moved closer. “How do you feel?” he asked sounding worried as he poured a cup of tea.

“Dizzy.”

“Don't move!” Hawke nearly dropped his cup as he tried to stop Fenris from sitting up but the elf had just screwed his face in pain at the attempt and laid his head back.

“Where...?” he started when Hawke cut him off again.

“You are in darktown, Anders' clinic. You were badly wounded at the docks but he patched you up.” the dark haired explained. “And now you need to drink. You lost a lot of blood. I mean... a LOT.” he emphasised. One of his hands supported Fenris' neck raising it just enough for him to sip from the cup he held in his other hand.

Fenris' mouth felt dry and he disliked the bitter taste, but the warmth and soothing feeling as the tea ran down his throat relaxed him.

“Good. And another sip.” Hawke encouraged him, tilting the cup again and Fenris drank until the cup was empty. “Can you manage another?”

“I... I'll try.” Fenris replied. His hand reached for Anders and he got hold of his index, around which his closed his fingers rather loosely.

A moment later Hawke was back with more tea and Fenris drank as much as he could until he felt too weak to continue.

“You did great.” Hawke praised him with a gentle smile and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Down here.” Fenris whispered failing to twist his lips into a smile.

Hawke chuckled and gave him another gentle kiss but this time on his lips. “You should get more sleep. I'll be here if you need me.”  
******

 

The next time Fenris woke his head was still spinning. And there was Anders still at his side. Now he was awake as well and a gentle but constant flow of healing made his belly tingle. He felt a stinging and itching pain further inside him. He guessed that was the part he was currently trying to heal.

“Thank you.” he whispered, surprised how weak his voice sounded. The sudden noise had startled Anders and his magic stopped for a moment. “Hey.” the mage said softly. “Does it still hurt?” he wanted to know.

Fenris nodded. “I had worse.” he added, not wanting him to feel bad for him.

“You mean you had worse healers.” Anders replied.

The elf chuckled at the remark, but immediately stopped at the pain this was causing him. At least now he would have an excuse why he was rarely laughing. 

“I'm sorry.” Anders apologised. “Can I persuade you to drink more tea?”

Fenris knew he would give him some, even if he would decline so he might as well get something out of this. “With a kiss.” he whispered with his best attempt of the smile.

The blonde rose to fill a cup for him. “One cup of tea and a kiss from the handsome mage that saved your life coming up right now.” he commented and leaned down.

“Hmm. Is that part of the treatment for all your patients?” an amused voice came from the door.

“Only for my very special patients.” Anders responded after his kiss and Fenris could see Hawke entering with a large pot in his hands before the mage blocked his view again to help him drink the tea.

“Orana made a lovely soup to get you back on your feet.” Hawke explained as he busied himself to prepare some bowls for all of them.

Getting spoiled like that by the two men he loved was still new to Fenris but he surely wouldn't complain. Once Hawke had helped him eat he disappeared to the front to share the rest of the soup with other patients while Anders put their bowls and cups away to be cleaned later.

“Will you let me examine your injury properly?”

“Yes?” Why was he asking?

“This means removing your tunic. Which is rather torn right now I might add.” Anders explained and sat down next to him.  
If Fenris had more blood in his body he might have blushed. Instead he just looked down at the damaged fabric and then gave him a shy nod.

Anders caressed his cheek for a moment. “You really don't have to hide your body.” he said softly and his fingers busied themselves removing his clothing with care. “Maker you are so pretty, Fenris.”

The elf just bit his lip and looked to the side.

“I'm sorry that was probably not what you wanted to hear.” Anders murmured and just quietly examined the wound he had been trying to heal and all the smaller cuts that covered his body. The minor wounds were quickly dealt with but he was sure the big one would leave a scar. He just hoped this wouldn't make it even harder for Fenris.

“Is it because of him?” he asked quietly. “If you want to talk about it.” he added just in case.

Fenris nodded and then noticed that Anders probably couldn't see him because he was still tending to his injury. “Yes. The lyrium lines are a constant reminder. The rest... I don't want to talk about.”

Anders didn't reply but he saw his fist clench. Had he said something wrong? Once he was done with his work the healer went to a small chest in the corner where kept his clothes, fishing out one that still looked presentable and then helped Fenris dress.

“Thank you. All done. You'll still need a lot of rest and a lot of tea. It might take a few weeks until the pain will be gone. Please let me know if you have any issues in the meantime.” Anders said with a soft smile and it was the same he used for all the people he helped. “Tomorrow we'll move to the Hawke estate so you can get some proper rest.”


	9. Love

At first Fenris had been sure that after the initial fuzz over him to close he wound his two lovers would just let him be, maybe send him back to his mansion to rest but the whole week they had been at his side. 

Every single day they made sure he would drink and eat enough, even if he was lacking appetite, or especially then. They wouldn't let him walk much or pick up anything heavy.

A second week had passed and he was still in Hawke's estate. Hawke had brought most of his belongings over in case he would need anything so he had basically moved in with him without really doing anything.. 

His wound was healing well and soon Anders allowed him to walk again and go about his day in a more normal manner again although he was still forbidden from sword practice or real fights. 

The upside of having been in bed all day for two weeks with someone around was that he was now rapidly improving his reading skills, so he had never been truly bored. He could even make out whole sentences now if he took his time. 

“You've done very well today.” Hawke praised as he decided to end today's lesson and he placed the book aside. 

Fenris had been grateful for everything, however, now that he was able to do normal things again, he wasn't sure if he could demand his hospitality any longer. Surely he must have been a burden to Hawke, not even able to help with anything and taking so much of his time every day.

“Hawke... will you help me bring my things back?” he asked staring at his chest in the corner. Maybe it was still a bit too heavy for him to carry alone after all. 

“Back?” Hawke asked. “What do you mean?”

“Back to... my place?” He didn't even own the mansion but still he'd lived their long enough to call it his place.

“You want to... leave?” Hawke sounded sad. No, disappointed. 

“I... I've been enough of a burden, haven't I?”

“Burden? Fenris. Perish the thought! I love having you here. Do you have any idea how long it took me to persuade Anders to move in? And yet he still spends most of his time in darktown. I want you here with me. Both of you. But... if you really want to leave, then of course I'll help you carry.” Hawke sighed audibly.

Fenris looked at him, not sure what to make of this. “Why?” was all he could manage. 

“Because I love you, Fenris.” Hawke replied and pushed him into his cushions to kiss him tenderly. 

It took him a moment, trying to grasp what the other had said, before the elf finally returned the kiss, pulling Hawke closer.

“Would you like that? Living with me and Anders?” he asked, looking into Fenris' eyes, there noses merely and inch apart. 

Fenris nodded emphatically with a small but happy smile. “If you'll have me.” 

He could see the lips framed by this gorgeous beard smile warmly before they captured his own once more, their kiss this time filled with passion. Fenris was hungry for more affection and pulled him a little closer as their kiss deepened. 

Hawke's knees were on either side of his hips now. His hand played in his white hair before they started brushing against the back of his ears over and over, that it seemed more than just accidental. 

Fenris whimpered quietly into their kiss and his hands found their way to his chest opening his shirt a little wider, pushing the luxurious fabric aside to caress the skin underneath. It felt strange to touch the short dark hair that curled around his fingertips as he let them wander. Strange but pleasant and intriguing. 

Hawke seemed to enjoy this just as much as he did, letting one hand travel down his slender body. He could feel it's heat and pressure through his clothing, his body responding to the touch but there was no room to pull away, not that he actually wanted him to stop. 

“Hawke...” A quite moan escaped his throat when the other started to nibble at his sensitive earlobe and he wished he had not told him or rather showed him how much his body responded to this. 

Hawke pinned him more against the mattress as his tongue teased him sweetly. „Fenris. I want you.“ The deep voice made him shiver slightly and for a moment he wondered if he had done this before but then his mind was wiped blank as the palm of Hawke's hand teasingly rubbed against his half hard cock through his pants.

Out of habit Fenris suppressed any noise he might have wanted to make as he rocked against his hand but then noticed that something wasn't as it should be. 

“What about Anders...?” Fenris whimpered and then he remembered a dream he had had, which made him feel even more guilty about Anders' absence. 

“Yes. What about Anders? I think he would very much like to join.” he heard the mages voice chuckle from the direction of the door.

Heat rose to Fenris' cheeks feeling embarrassed about the whole situation but at the same time relieved that Anders was here. Had he been watching them or did he just enter?

Hawke occupied him with another lustful kiss while Anders made his way to the bed. The elf was twisting his body in unknown pleasure as Hawke's hand did things to him that were yet unknown to him.

“Maker, you are sensitive.” the black haired said gently but then the sinful hand disappeared to welcome Anders and he helped the mage lose his robes with a few skilful moves. 

“Do you want to help Garrett?” Anders suggested. Fenris nodded and quickly went about undressing him, making sure he could touch him as much as possible in the process. He wished he would look as well build and manly as him, but it was simply impossible for an elf to look like that, no matter how much muscle he would develop. 

It didn't take long until both men were completely naked only the elf remaining dressed as before. 

Anders led Fenris' hand back to Hawke's chest were they both remained and started to fondle his muscular structure. 

“Feels good, doesn't it?” the mage said with a wink. Fenris agreed with a blush and tried his best to mirror his actions much to Hawke's satisfaction. The taller man hummed appreciatively.

“Anders, what you said the other day... Did you mean that?” the elf asked quietly, his fingers still dancing over the hairy chest.

“Uhm... I do say a lot of things... I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific.” the blonde apologised.

“Do you really think I... look beautiful?” 

Anders smiled softly and grabbed his face in both hands. “Absolutely! By the Maker, Fenris you look gorgeous!” 

Fenris looked aside with a blush for a moment and then nervously guided Anders' hands from his cheeks down to the hem of his shirt. 

Anders hesitated a moment not wanting to misunderstand the gesture but the white-haired nodded. 

Hawke had to bite his tongue not to make any comment on how cute Fenris was, afraid he might scare him off. He tried not to stare at the elf's exposed torso but Anders had not been lying, not that he had expected anything else. “Stunning.” he murmured at the sight of the smooth tanned skin decorated with fine white patterns. 

Fenris took a deep breath to swallow down his nervousness and insecurity. He could almost feel their gaze on his skin. Anders smiled at him fondly and then let his fingers roam gently around the centre of his chest. 

Fenris immediately tensed up at the feeling of the light touch, regretting his decision. Suddenly he wasn't so sure any more if he was able to do this. 

The mage stopped and wrapped his arms around his body, pulling him into a soft hug. “Shhh it's okay. Nobody is going to hurt you.” he whispered gently stroking up and down his back until he felt the elf's body relax again. 

Hawke remained silent but soon cuddled into Anders' side caressing the shoulders of his lovers. He wondered what had happened to Fenris back in Tevinter that had messed him up so badly, but this was clearly not the time to talk about something like this. It pained him to see him like this and he was more than thankful for Anders' understanding for the elf's needs. 

Anders really was a healer in every way and in his arms Fenris felt safe and wanted. “Thank you, Anders.” he whispered and pulled back just enough to kiss him. He could feel his skin against his as he tried to bury the pain of his past in the sweet sensation of their kiss. 

Once Fenris looked relaxed enough Hawke wrapped his strong arms around the two smaller men and let himself fall back onto the mattress, pulling them with him onto his chest. Surprised by his actions both their faces turned to him and he wished he could have kissed them both at once. 

“Do you want to try more?” he asked Fenris after a moment, who nodded nervously in response. 

“Well, you've seen what I did to Anders last time.” Hawke suggested and for a moment he saw panic return to Fenris' eyes. “I thought maybe you want to prepare him this time...” Hawke added quickly and much to his relieve saw the tension vanish again. 

Fenris just looked at Anders for his opinion who nodded eagerly. “Please, Fenris. If you want, I'd love to feel your fingers not just in my mouth.” The elf’s cheeks and ears turned a few shades darker, his heart racing a little faster and he could hear or rather feel Hawke chuckle underneath them. 

Anders rolled off to the side to fetch the vial from their last time which he handed to Fenris. “Don't feel bad about touching me anywhere.” the blonde said with a wink. 

It wasn't that Fenris didn't know what to do, he just wasn't sure where to start. Was he expected to get right to it? Was anything else required? Luckily he wasn't given much time to worry as Hawke came to his rescue and sat up next to him. He had one palm placed firmly on Anders' chest, pinning him down to the mattress with his streched arm and he leaned to Fenris ear. “Let's tease him a bit first. He likes that.” he whispered with a dirty smirk on his lips. 

Fenris gasped quietly. “Just do whatever you think feels good.” Hawke whispered before he leaned down to nibble at Anders' throat, biting the tender flesh. Fenris hesitated a moment and then placed the vial aside, picking Anders' chest as a starting point for some light kisses, soon flicking out his tongue to taste more of him. 

“Good.” Hawke hummed looking at Fenris and then kissed his way down Anders' torso, teasing his belly button and then moving even lower. Fenris liked how much they all seemed to enjoy this. 

“Ah! Suck me. Please” Anders whimpered and then bit his lip. Fenris wasn't sure if he had meant him or Hawke but Fenris followed the request anyway, wrapping his lips around one nipple and sucking at it, which he found rather enjoyable. He couldn't see Hawke but from Anders' reaction he assumed he had found something different to suck on. 

“Maker!” Anders panted as he sunk one hand into the white thatch of hair over him. 

While his lips kept sucking the hardened nub, he teasingly twisted the one on the other side between index and thumb. 

After a while Fenris moved up to kiss him briefly before he got too curious to find out what Hawke was doing. He gulped at the sight. Seeing Hawke's tongue and lips working hungrily at Anders' erection made himself grow a lot harder. He hadn't noticed how long his gaze had been fixed at this sight. 

“You like watching?” 

Anders' words pulled him out of his stare. Fenris nodded with a blush. “You could hnn... watch him more closely if your fingers ahh... were inside me.” 

Another nod. Fenris picked up the vial again and moved down between his legs before he pulled off the cork.

“Use it generously and don't worry about making a mess.” Hawke told him before he returned to lettings his tongue swirl around the tip of Anders' cock. Fenris barely looked what his fingers where doing before his slick fingers gently rubbed the skin between Anders' cheeks in search for his entrence. 

In response the mage spread his legs even further and Fenris carefully pushed the tip on his index inside, not wanting to cause him any pain. The warm muscles around his finger felt strange but Anders made no sign of discomfort, on the contrary to his surprise he could feel him push against his finger to make it slip deeper. 

“Good.” Hawke praise from beneath. “Just match my rhythm.” he suggested and let his lips slide around Anders again, bobbing his head around him slowly. Fenris followed him, pushing his finger in and out at the same pace. 

“Another. Please, Fenris.” he heard the blonde plead after a while and Fenris did as he was asked, adding a bit more oil just in case, before he pushed the second one inside.

“You know what to do.” Hawke said and kissed him briefly yet with passion. He could still taste a bit of Anders in his mouth. He wasn't to sure if he liked that taste but he enjoyed the kiss nonetheless.

While he was stretching Anders with his second and eventually third finger, he blissfully watched Hawke receive a similar treatment to what he had just offered. 

Fenris nibbled and sucked as his own finger as he watched the two. Hawke's deep grunts and Anders' muffled moans filled the air until Fenris found a spot that felt slightly different. The mage groaned loudly at the touch, letting go of Hawke. Fenris could only recall one or two moments of brief bliss that made him understand what Anders felt. Danarius had never cared and those moments had been nothing more than accidental.

His fingers curled again, making Anders trambled in pleasure. “Maker please!” the mage whimpered. His fingeres brushed over the spot once more. 

“Do you want to take him?” Hawke asked him and the blonde lay panting and wriggling beneath them. 

Fenris' fingers stopped moving as he considered. Was he expected to? He felt his chest grow a little heavier. 

“It's okay if you don't.” Hawke breathed, caressing his cheek. “But don't leave him waiting for too long.” 

Fenris bit his lip. “C-can you do it?” he stammered, feeling like a coward as he pulled back his fingers. 

“Oh, I'd love to.” Hawke responded and brushed a quick kiss onto his lips before he prepared himself. 

Fenris looked apologeticly at Anders. He didn't want him to think that he didn't like him, he just wasn't ready for this and wasn't sure if he would ever be. 

Anders' back arched as Hawke pushed into him and Fenris sat still and watched until the mage streched his arm out to him and Fenris inched closer. 

“I want to touch you, Fenris, please.” he panted, obviously staring at the twitching cock in his pants. “May I?”

If he was honest to himself the elf didn't want anything more than being touched right now and yet his fear made this harder than it should have been. 

Shyly he fumbled at his pants, pulling them down enough to reveal his small clothes but didn't dare more. 

Anders nodded understandingly and before he could say anything the mage's palm started rubbing him through the thin fabric that protected him from falling apart. 

His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into the touch, swallowing his moans and for a while he couldn't take in anything that was going on between the other two, lost in his own little world of pleasure that Anders' hand provided. How did he know so well how to make him feel good? And then the hand had suddenly stopped. 

“Fenris, would you sit down here for me?” Anders asked him, patting the pillow next to him. A little confused he followed the request, while the blonde had turned around, supporting his weight with his arms and knees. 

Fenris looked away. “Now be a good wolf and shut up.” a voice from his past called out to him in his head. Fenris shuttered. 

“Ah!” The sound of his own voice had taken him by surprise, pulling him back to the presentwhen Anders' hot and wet lips were mouthing him through his undergarments pushing away any throughts of his past. He hadn't even asked for this, yet Anders made him feel like no one ever before. One of his hands took a tight grip around the corner of a cushion, this other dug into Anders' soft hair.

After the initial surprise his moans remained hardly audible in comparison to the unrestraint trails of lustful noises that originated from his lovers. Even Anders with his mouth occupied was louder than him. 

Not being used to any such form of pleasure being given to him, the elf didn't last long and was soon squirming and twisting against Anders' lips. 

“Kaffas! Amatus!” Fenris hissed as his head rolled back and his toes curled when his orgasm swept over him. He felt Anders suck at him a little longer. A few moans later the mages semen splashed over his trousers. Fenris couldn't care less about the mess. Just seeing him like that was worth any trouble. He gently stroked his hair until Hawke had followed his orgasm, both of them now sinking into the bed rather exhausted. 

Fenris slid down between them with a happy smile on his face as they cuddled into his side. They remained like that for several minutes before they decided to clean up. Fenris changed into a fresh set of small clothes and decided to leave his messy pants on the floor before climbing back into bed.

For now he felt comfortable like this, simply because they understood and cared. He snuggled closer into his lovers, kissing them sweetly. He couldn't remember having ever felt happier in his life.  
“I love you. Both of you.” he whispered. “Thank you. For everything.”

[the art is my own - I finished the pic before the story, so unfortuantely the order is different, but none the less cute cuddles for everyone :3] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with me til the end!  
> I hope you are not disappointed with not getting a fully naked Fenris, but I assure you, he's a happy elf now :3 
> 
> Maybe the fic can't really offer any help for people with similar issues, but I hope that it can at least offer comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this story was very therapeutic for me and the content means a lot to me personally.  
> If you enjoyed it so far, please keep reading :3


End file.
